Conspiracy Theories

It bugged me to read an op-ed in the New York Times yesterday, titled: The Captive Arab Mind and written by a Roger Cohen. The premise of the article is based on condescending the Arab minds in general as being helpless, and resorting to conspiracy theories to justify their inability to understand the real nature of the events that are happening in their midst. I have so often heard and read so-called political analysts in the Arab World and elsewhere denouncing conspiracy theories, even if they themselves resort to them when explaining/analyzing a certain phenomenon!

The issue, in my opinion, is not whether or not the Arabs resort to conspiracy theories because they are helpless and unable to set free from their captive minds, but more in the analogy that some ignorant Westerners, Arab "liberal" thinkers, and Neo-Orientalists use in describing the Arab psyche as being backward and short of calling them outright "stupid". Conspiracies do in fact exist, and for those who say they don't are themselves part of this ploy! The role of some of the so-called Think Tanks in the West is to cook-up conspiracies and sell them to their administrations/regimes in order to change a certain status-quo. From regime toppling to political assassinations, and what's in between of course, are built on hidden agendas and are surely conducted covertly. Does the writer of the NYT piece find in these acts a logical and clear explanation that does not capture the Arab minds? I am sure he and others like him will find certain "logical" explanations for them, but living in an unstable part of the world, one cannot but resort to such conclusions.

I wonder if the writer thinks/believes that Yasser Arafat died of old age or that Syria/Hizbulla did assassinate Rafiq Hariri, or if the issue of Darfour is based on the Western world's fascination with liberating the Southern part of Sudan, due to their ethnic/religious affiliations. Better yet, maybe he still believes in Colin Powell's WMD speech at the Security Council regarding Iraq or that Gas reserves were not discovered in Afghanistan! Come on!

Distrust has surely become synonymous with how the Arab minds think, but that no one can claim that the mere thought of a conspiracy is unfounded and should be ruled out completely. It used to be in the pre-WikiLeaks era that historians/political analysts had to wait quarter or half a century to review certain classified documents, be it in the US or the UK. However today, the documents that prove of conspiracies are clearly out in the open long before their ink dries on them. Maybe Julian Assange wanted the world and those pseudo-intellectuals to know that conspiracies are a way of life for many of the world powers. Or maybe Assange is part of that conspiracy?? Who knows!!

Signed by a Captive Arab Mind...  

Minister for Crisis Affairs

It seems logical but why can't we find governments across the world, especially in our Arab World assign a special ministerial role for Crisis Affairs?? I can think of a number of countries who are in dire need of creating this post...Okay, I will say it, I believe Lebanon should be the first to create such a post. But from now, I petty the person who might get assigned to this job! Crisis and Lebanon? Poor soul whomever takes it, that of course if they actually go ahead and create such a non-sectarian, non-political party affiliated post, will surely have his/her hands full.

Think about it though! It certainly makes a lot of sense to identify an individual with certain attributes that make him/her suitable to take on this gruesome role. This ministry will surely be a non-money generating cabinet, hence we can rule out the money hungry candidates! Secondly, the right candidate will also have to be non-sectarian (who literary doesn't give a damn about his/her sect) and here we also rule out the sectarian parties' fanatics. Thirdly, the Minister will need to be an intellectual with charisma and cool mind to enable him/her to listen to all the bullocks that goes on in the Cabinet's meetings, which would rule me out (only the cool mind part, though)!!

But seriously, if we look at the political situation in Lebanon, one cannot but wonder why no one has even thought of this post, which will bring ease of mind to the people, as they will look at this individual as the referee or more like the savior. I think my ideal candidate for this job, besides me, would be Ziad Barroud. Take him out of the Ministry of Interior and place him in this Ministry and I am sure he will excel.

What do you think?

Once we pilot this project in Lebanon, we then move to Palestine...Hmm but which government would he/she serve under? Okay, forget Palestine for now and let's get this off the ground in Lebanon.

If for any reason this idea appeals to the ruling bodies, then 1) I claim a (c) to it and 2) I will be more than happy to serve as an advisor!